King Kong

A super-gorilla, walking through the jungle looking for some fun, got bored and thought to himself, "ffs." This is a codeword, and it started raining. The super-gorillas name was King Kong, better known as the Belt-Cabled Super-Sized Monkey. It was a nickname King Kong did not know about, because he did not know much about anything at all.

Once it started raining he had enough of it all and walked to the nearest city he knew of. In fact it was the only city he knew of, but he did not know that he knew this, so he went to the nearest city he didn't know of.

Walking down the street causing some minor trouble, a police man stood in front of him and refused to move. The police man, although not small in human terms, was very small in super-gorilla terms, and King Kong was a super-duper gorilla.

"You cannot do this!" shouted the police man from miles below.

"I cannot do what?!" bellowed King Kong down to the police man.

"Walk through the street like this!" berated the police man.

"Walk through the street like what?!" roared the super-gorilla.

"You are causing mayhem and massive disruptions!" hollered the man.

"I am?" muttered King Kong.

"I beg your pardon?!" wailed the police man. "I didn't catch that!"

"I AM?!" barked he back down to the tiny man.

"You are what?" screeched the man, voice fast disappearing.

"I beg your pardon?!" asked the super-gorilla.

"You beg?" grumbled the man.

"What?!" yelled the monkey, belt-cabled and super-sized as it was.

"-" said the police man with a voice of man who had no voice at all. He managed to do that quite successfully, and King Kong could not hear what he said - because in fact he said nothing at all. Or rather, he said something but had no voice with which to say it. It makes sense if you think about it.

The police man resorted to drastic measures and magically produced a big piece of cardboard that he scribbled a message on in large letters:

"YOU DAFT SOD"

King Kong slapped his massive thighs with his enormous hands and laughed a laugh that rumbled through the nearest city he knew about, a city he was in just right now. A few buildings collapsed.

The police man smiled nervously while scratching his head. Then he smiled nervously while not scratching his head. He stopped smiling and scratched his head. His head scratched his smile that stopped itching.

At a whim, the man waved his hands at the super-gorilla.

King Kong, the King of Kongs, lifted his right foot and stomped on the man. When he lifted it again the man had turned into a very nice, round juicy pizza. The Kongs' King scooped it up in his hands and gulped it down in one huge gulp. Then he burped, and the burp, as the laugh, rumbled through the city. A few of the buildings still standing didn't collapse, but the rest did.

He walked through the city a couple of times, then left for home: cities were nice enough, but it didn't rain when he said "ffs."