10 - Grandmother's

This happened last week: Wolf accidentally stamped on an innocent little ant. The ant shouted that the wolf should pick on someone its own size. Then a bear came and quite deliberately stamped on the wolf. It hurt a great deal, but the wolf survived.

And thus it was that Little Red and Wolf came to her grandmothers house.

It was a small house with red walls and a pointed roof and oversized chimney that did not smoke. It used to, but then learnt that smoking is bad for your health.

Outside the house was the remnants of the patient postman. The poor git had starved to death while waiting for Little Red's grandmother to answer the door. The parcel he had meant to deliver to her lay at his side. It was not very big.

They entered the house, but could find no one. They searched every room; twice in fact, in case her grandmother was hiding, but found no one. In the end Little Red called out in frustration, "Hello? Is there anybody here?"

"Yes," answered the house.

"Cool," chuckled Wolf, "the house can speak."

"Your grandmother is expected back any minute," said the house to Little
Red.

Then Granny walked in the door.

"Granny!" shouted Little Red in ecstasy. "Granny!" She ran over and hugged her.

"Little Red, what a surprise! It sure is a small world," said her grandmother.

"Where have you been?" demanded Little Red.

But Granny ignored the question. "Who's that dead git on the doormat?" she asked.

Wolf thought it fine to enter the conversation at this point. "He's the postman," he stated.

"Yes, I can see that. But what's he doing there?"

"Being dead, I presume," said Wolf in a hurt voice.

"But where have you been?" insisted Little Red.

"Oh, just out in the forest collecting berries."

Little Red looked at her grandmother. "I thought you had the stand-still disease and couln't move," she said.

"I was indeed suffering from that dreadful disease, until one day a squirrel came in and played Aphex Twin's Selected Ambient Works. So now I'm fine."

Little Red looked about in her bag and brought out her copy of Aphex Twin's Selected Ambient Works.

Granny put it in the stereo and they all danced through the night.