The Garden

The story goes that once the ever so Mighty Boa Constrictor entered a cinema mid-way through a film, adressed everyone, and said, "There is a bomb in the building!" Everyone panicked and rushed for the exit. The Constrictor leisurely sat down and watched the movie. Then he farted, and the cinema went bankrupt.

Max' mind was a garden full of massive rhododendrons, each one flowering at this precise moment. His mind turned into a turtle, and slipped into something watery and swam down, down, down, down to the bottom, and there he found - a dolby digital surround dvd player. Quite rusty.

He lost consciousness.

He regained consciousness.

He lost something else, didn't regain it, but couldn't remember what it was.

His eyes were open, but he didn't look.

He was seeing, but his eyes were closed.

His ears thought they were his penis - both at the same time, which made for a bit of a dilemma.

Windows opened, and teddy bears came flying to give him warm embraces.

Then he was sitting in a chair, his eyes open, looking at the strange dark-clad figure. It was a she, and she was sitting in a chair opposite him.

"So, stranger," she said with a soft, flowing voice. "What brings you here to these shores?"

"Arrh.." said Max rather confusedly. "Rr?"

"Here, take this glass of water." The woman produced a glass of water from somewhere outside Max' field of vision. He accepted it gratefully, and drank purposefully to drown his thirsty and dry throat. His throat refused to drown, but he managed to still his thirst.

"Long story," said Max.

"Got all the time in the world of this giant mighty moving serpent, dear." The lady held out her hands, palms up.

Max sighed. "Guess we have.. alright.. here goes.." And Max told her his and Min's story up to the point where the woman had found him at the Plate. The woman listened intently, nodding, but not saying a lot. At the end she was twisting her hands, looking at Max with eyes as deep the Eiffel Tower to a gnat.

"I see." She paused for a moment, then chuckled. "There's irony in that."

"Pardon?" said Max.

"I'm blind, you see."


The woman said, "I did it again," and laughed a wicked laugh.

There was an embarassing pause. Max' throat cleared itself.

"Very well," she said. "You must want to go back to your own world."

"Yes, of course, I wish that a lot, but not -"

"- without your wife," the woman finished for him.


"Well, I might be able to help you."

"Thank you very much, miss...?"

"Ah, now, my name is unimportant."

"Why, thank you very much, miss Unimportant."

The woman smiled warmly, and waved her left arm. "But first of all, dear friend, you must sleep."

And Max fell asleep.