06 - In the court

When it comes to diurnal rhythm, this gargantuan but cosy monster has perhaps strangest of them all. When he falls asleep he quite often forgets to wake up. When he does wake up, however, he finds himself stupendously hungry. And so he eats. A lot. Then he takes a brief nap to digest the food, only to wake up a few eons later.

The Appointed Judge Magistrate Umpire Referee Lord Justice Smith, usually known as 'S', pronounced "ss", was the Current Appointed Lost Justice when Max and Min were led in. S was not someone you messed about with. He had been messed about with quite bit as a kid, and he had not liked it one little bit. Therefore he became a judge, so he could mess about with other people.

S looked at the two forlorn creatures being led into the court, did not like the look of them, and decided that they were guilty in whatever they were being charged for. S sat down on his chair. The chair groaned and crumbled under the massive weight of the judge. Three guards came rushing from behind the judge and hauled him back on his feet.

"Very well, I thall have to thtand." S smiled. Min shuddered. "I declare the court opened!" S yelled and slammed the hammer on the table. The hollow boom resounded through the big courtroom.

The general stepped a step forward. "Hah!" he said and slapped his hand on his cheeks ritually.

"You bring theeth.." said S and made a slow gesture towards Min and Max.

"Humbuggers," said the general.

".. before thith court, charged with.." said S and raised an eyebrow toward the general.

"Humbug," said the general steadily.

".. and they have refuthed the offer to be.."

"Defended."

".. and they have declared themthelves to be.."

"Guilty."

".. and tho the court hath dethided that they are.."

"Guilty."

".. and tho the court dethide that the penalty ith.."

"Death."

".. and thith thententhe ith to be peformed by.."

"Swallowing oranges."

".. and tho it ith dethided, ath Truth Wath Thpoken, in the name of the Mighty Boa Conthtrictor. The courth hath dethided!" Again the hammer was slammed on the table.

"But.." Min stuttered.

The judge suddenly turned ominously red. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.." Gurads rushed forward again and helped him breathe.

"What -" Min started.

"Hush!" said the general.

The judge regained his breath. "It thpoke!" The look he sent the general was not of 'come and make love to me' kind.

"It?" Min said, flabbergasted by this whole scene.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Er, 'scuse me -" Max tried to intervene.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"

"SHUT UP!" screamed the general.

"Hooooooooooooo. Aaaaaaaaaaaah. Huh. Ah. Phew. Thankth." After a while the judge regained his normal skin colour, and the guards retreated.

Max stepped calmly forward and said, "The Word."

The judge bellowed, "The Word! He thaid the word! Take them away! Take them to The Plathe!"