Chapter 03
Shot dead
Brian heard on the news that someone had been shot dead. "Some people," he thought, and wondered why they didn't shoot someone that was alive.
The number
"The number of bodies found can only seem to increase," said the news presenter. "I would be suspicious if it seemed to decrease," said Brian to the tv.
Cancellations
"Tomorrow has been cancelled," announced the radio gravely. Brian went to bed, and lo and behold, he never woke up again.
At the end...
"At the end of the day you just have to get on with it," they said to Brian. At the end of the day Brian found he needed sleep, and went to bed.
Shotgun #4 - Shooting trouble
With his shotgun, Brian went troubleshooting.
Once upon a time
Once upon a time there was no time. This didn't make any sense to Brian at all.
Thoughts #1 - Headache
Brian thought, but it gave him a headache so he stopped.
Thoughts #2 - Better
Brian though about it, then thought better of it.
Thoughts #3 - Umbrella
Brian thought about buying an umbrella, but then it started to rain.
Thoughts #4 - Road
Brian thought about crossing the road despite the heavy traffic, but then the road turned into a giant pizza.
Disabled toilet #1 - Heeding Nature
Brian urgently needed to relieve himself, but the only toilet he could find said "Disabled Toilet." Because he had to, he relieved himself outside the toilet.
Disabled toilet #2 - Explain thyself
Afterwards, a police man tapped Brian on his shoulder and asked him why he did that out in the open. Brian told him that apparently the toilet was disabled, and when you must - well, then you must, obviously.
Disabled toilet #3 - Arrested
The police man arrested Brian, charging him with "Contaminating Nature", "Being Ignorant", "Ignoring A Police Mans Tap On The Shoulder" and "Trying To Be A Smartass." Brian didn't think it was funny at all, but at least the police station had toilets that were enabled.
Diurnal rhythm #1 - Sleeper, Awake
It isn't always true that people that fall asleep wake up again. For Brian, however, it is true most of the time.
Diurnal rhythm #2 - Asleep
Brian fell asleep but didn't wake up again.
Diurnal rhythm #3 - Briefly awake
Brian woke up and wondered why he forgot to wake up the last time. Then he fell asleep wondering why he bothered at all.
Bedtime #3 - Not awake
During all the time Brian slept, he did not awake once.